Guys, do you want to know why women spend so long in the bathroom? It’s because they are fucking disgusting! It literally takes five minutes just to find a stall that is even acceptable to walk in. I already have a deep fear of public restrooms that is exasperated from the filth that accumulates in them. No matter where you are, airport, Nordstrom, or work, women’s restrooms are vile!
I really hate all you nasty bitches! I often wonder how people’s bathrooms look at home. How on good green earth does a whole roll of toilet tissue becomes unraveled on the floor? Did you not see the all the pee you left on the seat?
Ladies, really come on! What the fuck is going on in the bathroom? Did Don Cheadle send you a DM and say he was going to fuck your brains out and to meet him in two minutes? (YES! I THINK DON CHEADLE IS HOT!) Did Mark Zuckerberg say he was going to pay off your student loans and you had to post this to your status in 30 seconds and you left your iPhone at your desk? (Stop posting that shit btw!) If neither of these scenarios happened to you, then leaving the bathroom stall in anything less than pristine condition is unacceptable!
Be a fucking doll, like the sign says, and wipe that shit up! LITERALLY!